How to Avoid Absent-mindedness in a Relationship

It’s easy to get lost in our own thoughts and neglect the people we care about. If your partner has expressed that they have felt neglected or hurt because of your forgetfulness, you might be wondering how to avoid absent-mindedness in a relationship. You’ve come to the right place.

In this article, we’ll give you some tips on how to train your mind to be more present and avoid absent-mindedness in your relationships.

Keep in mind that, sometimes your partner may be having trouble with memory due to the aging process. Perhaps they’ve had a stroke or are afflicted my another cognitive disfunction. In these cases it may be helpful to improve their memory with exercise manuals or in a clinical setting.

Being Present with Your Partner

One way to avoid forgetfulness in a relationship, is to make a conscious effort to be present when you’re with your partner. Pay attention to what they’re saying and doing, and show that you’re interested in them. This will help you stay connected to each other and avoid any misunderstandings.

If you find yourself getting distracted, take a moment to refocus on your partner. Clear your mind and really listen to what they’re saying. This will help you stay present and avoid any potential arguments.

It’s also important to communicate with your partner. If you’re feeling overwhelmed or distracted, let them know. This will help them understand what’s going on and avoid any hurt feelings.

By making a conscious effort to be present, you can avoid absent-mindedness in your relationship. This will help you stay connected to each other and prevent any misunderstandings. So next time you’re with your partner, make sure to give them your full attention. It’ll make a world of difference.

Remembering Details about Your Partner

Also, there are some specific strategies you can use to help you remember key information about your partner, especially if the relationship is new and you are struggling to recall important information about him or her. Remembering details like this will help you avoid absent-mindedness in your relationship.

To remember dates, such as his or her birthday, you can make the date a time or a price, such as 12:15 for December 15 or $11.25 for November 25.  You can also try to relate the date to one that is already familiar to you.  For example, May 15 is exactly one month after taxes are due.  October 21 is 10 days before Halloween.

To recall the names of your partner’s family members, friends, or work associates, try some of these strategies:

Acronyms:

Use the first letter of each name to spell a word.                                   

Eg: Carol,  Alice, Robert and Teddy  =  CART. 

If you want to remember them in order of their age, this might not work so an acrostic might be more helpful.

Acrostics:

With Acrostics, you use the first letter of each name stands for a word in a sentence.                 

Eg: Say they were born in this order: Alice, Teddy, Robert, Carol

Your acrostic could be  Ants Took Raw Carrots.

Associate:

Associate the name with something you are already familiar with, such as:

     – The name of someone you already know: “Oh, that’s my brother’s name.” 

     – A brand name: Wilson, Ford 

     – A famous person: Kennedy, Casey (at the bat), Elizabeth (Queen or Taylor) 

     – A thing: Colt, Locke

     – Rhymes with:   Lum/Plum; Duke/puke 

     – Occupation:  Baker, Barbara (barber), Cook, Taylor

Use Self Talk :

This just means saying to yourself whatever important information you want to remember.  For example, “My partner is interviewing for a new job at _________ next Wednesday.  I want to be sure to ask her about it on Thursday.”   Say this over to yourself several times, changing the language slightly.  If you add an unusual, funny, or bizarre twist, it will be easier to remember.

“ Wow, I hope she doesn’t dump me after she gets her new job.” or “Hope she makes a boatload of money at the new job and we can go on a fabulous vacation.”  

Compensate:

Confucius gave us some really good advice when he said, “The weakest ink is stronger than the best memory.”

If you want to remember something, write it down!   Everyone should have a detailed calendar and list of things to do. Include items related to your partner on your list.  Such as, “Ask Mary about her job interview.”  or “Find out what happened at Mary’s doctor’s appointment.”   Most people keep this information in their phone, but there is nothing wrong with old fashioned paper and pencil tools.  

A memory notebook,  paper or digital, is very helpful and should contain at least 3 basic sections: 

• Reference material such as names, numbers, addresses, medications 
• List of things to do, including note when it was completed.  Eg:  buy a birthday card for Joe.   
• Notes or things to remember.  For example:  questions for my doctor, my partner’s  new job, health information.  You can include important information about your partner here, too.

An annotated calendar contains more details than most people normally enter.  For example, you might want to remember the name of a restaurant you enjoyed or a movie you saw with your partner.   However, don’t clutter your calendar with information you don’t really want to recall. 

Send messages to yourself:

Email yourself or send a phone message to yourself.  Eg:  Don’t forget our anniversary next Saturday.  Make reservations.

Conclusion

As you can probably tell, these are general memory tips that can be applied to many aspects of life, not just to help you learn how to avoid absent-mindedness in a relationship. Just remember, you have to apply these practices daily. Get in the habit of applying them. A habit is formed after practicing something for at least 3 weeks, usually more.

So set a reminder on your phone to practice some of these memory tips if you are really committed to avoiding forgetfulness in your relationship. We hope you found these tips useful and they help you relationships thrive!